The Gross Guys of Tinder (and other internet sexists)

This post features some spectacularly bad language (none of it mine!) so please don’t scroll down if you’re going to have a go at me for swearing:

Tinder is horrendous. It is everything I hate about people – judging whether or not you’d like to talk to someone based purely on the way they look. And yet, still, there is still something quite addictive by my phone constantly going “Match! Match! Match!” (probably a disproportionate result as I leave the app well alone for ages just so that will happen and then shut it down when it stops matching me, because I’m needy like that)

Since June, I started to dip my feet into the world of Tinder, mostly to find someone to call me pretty everyday (I’m a human being, guys). However, what I was faced with was sexist, misogynistic and downright hideous (and some just plain rude). It’s hard enough being a fat girl with a strange face in real life, let alone on the internet. The gross guys of Tinder and other internet sexists seem to fall into three broad categories:

#1: The “Why the hell did you swipe me in the first place?” group:

Because nothing says “I’m looking for a deep and meaningful relationship” like attempting to insult someone within seconds of talking to them. Ok, so the Specsavers joke is one I’ve managed to get used to over the last 12 years or so of wearing glasses, and perhaps being compared to Velma from Scooby Doo isn’t so bad (she’s intelligent and kickass), but seriously, “Kharoti”? Straight in with an “I like you”, he wastes no time in calling me “bech” when he doesn’t get the declaration of love he’s after. And I still have no idea who Hard Dan 20 is:

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#2: The “Jesus, I wish I hadn’t swiped you” group:

Why respect women when you can treat them like pieces of meat, put on this earth to satisfy your horn? What better way to reel ’em in than to assume that the sole reason they decided to talk to you was because you’re irresistible to women and are absolutely desperate to get into their bed? How else would you inject a bit of excitement into a dying conversation than to suggest swapping explicit photos – just what you want to read three weeks after the last message you received. And hey, what better way to encourage a fat girl into sexual favours than to offer her something sweet? These men ain’t daft:

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#3: The “Bloody hell, I don’t even have any words” group:

Specially reserved for extra-special guys who absolutely blew my mind. Christian, who instantly started berating me for being a socialist and a feminist, compared a woman in work getting pregnant to a car breaking down for 9 months of the year – and later went on to suggest that the wage gap was “probably for the best – men are much better at controlling their finances than women”:

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But my “Award for Biggest Tinder Douchebag of the Century” goes to Daz, whose pick-up lines leave nothing to the imagination, and absolutely no doubt that he, is fact, the love of my life (here it comes – you have been warned!):

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And who says romance is dead?


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2 thoughts on “The Gross Guys of Tinder (and other internet sexists)

  1. Now I know where I’ve been going wrong!!! No doubt you and Daz right now are preparing the nuptials and the honeymoon?

    Seriously, the mind boggles. There’s enough misunderstanding and bad feeling in the world of men/woman romance as it is, without all that. But, such is life. I don’t think you or anyone else is really going to find a great romance online. It will always deteriorate in some way. I now feel that when I make a move, talk, chat up, whatever you wish to call it on a woman I find attractive, I just say hello or make small talk, be friendly, and never make sleazy jokes or innuendos, so that next time I see that person I can say hello again and then the ball starts rolling, so to speak. It’s certain we all want love, we all want to love and we all want to be loved and desired, at least by one person, and yet romance and all that is so hard, so very hard to achieve and so strewn with fears and misunderstandings and the dread of rejection. Invariably, men always have to make the first move, and in my experience women expect this to be the case. But I can honestly say, the fear for men is no different from the fear women may be feeling; the butterflies, the nerves, the fear of making a fool of yourself and so on. Nobody wants to be rejected, and so sadly we all seem often seem to stay in our own little worlds, aching for someone to break the ice!!! And sometimes, we wish we hadn’t bothered either!

    But, being sleazy online and all that is not for many of us. I think you have a pretty face by the way!!!!

  2. I’m shocked, I hope they are just playing around and not act like this on a regular basis. anyway, I’m sure the tinder guru could sort them all out and teach them how to be nice and respectful… I think some guys here need a serious talk with him lol

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